Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Never At The Right Age

It speaks volume that most of my close female friends which I feel sincere about and comfortable around are those my seniors?

Maybe I'm mentally ahead of my own biological time, or maybe I condescend those my junior and never take them seriously to even notice them? I feel so screwed up.

Life is such a mystery.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Learning vs Education: Where One Stops, The Other Is Not The End

This semester I'm taking a subject called Economics. Despite my many years of formal and self learning, Economics is one subject I've shallow knowledge about with respect to the concurrent level of world/general knowledge. Though common sense dictates it's easier to understand than my normal engineering stuff, I never really had formal education on Economics having been a science stream student my whole life, with a dose of Accountancy. Until now.

It is not unfathomable and not a surprise for me to see my desire for knowledge on this topic grow with each passing day as the more of what little I know from class, the more I know I don't know from materials and exposure outside class. With the emergence of Internet technology opening up gateways for unlimited information, it's all just a Google+Wiki search away.

As fellow uni mates would also know, this semester is different from the ordinary because it's short. Subjects allowed to be taken are reduced by half because each subject needs twice as much time per week since the short sem is half the duration of a long sem but the syllabus still need to be fully covered in time. For some reason my lecturer is not able to cover the whole syllabus and it's really a huge miss for those who actually genuinely care about learning, not just grades.

Sometimes I don't know if I blame the lecturers incompetence for teaching too slowly to my liking, or maybe it's just a right person caught up in a wrong situation. Maybe the class population in general needs a slower pace or maybe nobody really gives a shit about economics, but fact remains he won't be able to cover it all up this semester. Such a waste. Grades aside, there is something fundamentally wrong about this whole reality. Weren't we told since young we come to school to learn?

I've been pondering about this issue subconsciously, on and off for many weeks now and I think I've finally decided what to do.

Next semester, should circumstances permit, I would arrange with the situation to allow myself rejoin next semester's Economics class. More specifically, for those particular chapters he couldn't cover this semester. It's not the first time trying this, it's been positive really as a teacher can not really turn away eager to learn students outside formality.

I'll be looking forward to next semester to tie up this semesters loose ends. The unfinished business of lifelong learning at KLIUC.

Where Does Our Difference Start?

I have a situation that is worth my attention.

Borneo is vast island which is divided and shared by three countries: Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia. From a purely Malaysia point of view, it represents the East side of the country. The population there consist of various native ethnics and many born East Malaysians have move abroad in search for better opportunities.

The Situation
Ever since coming to KLIUC, I've befriend many East Malaysians because to be honest, East Malaysia is somewhere I've never been and have little knowledge about. I find it interesting to know them and perhaps have a better idea of what's it like there.

Recently the East Malaysians had formed a new guild to unite themselves while away from home. I personally saw this as an opportunity to learning one step further.

The Issue
On Facebook they've followed up the meeting with the creation of an online group. When I requested in, I got told it's only open to East Malaysians. A closed group it is.

My Perspective.
If anything, this is plain discrimination. To let outsiders in a place they don't belong may be odd and a little awkward, but to keep outsiders out is just discriminating.

A few points worth noting:
1. The only thing everyone in have in common is their place of birth, and that is something I have no control over. To disallow an genuine interest a opportunity to be interested because of my background is the same as saying Black people is bad. They never had a chance to choose their colour too but they're still discriminated.

2. Even more odd, the East Malaysians coming to West Malaysia, forming a group and totally closing out the West Malaysians? You see? We are all Malaysians. Be it East or West, even so there is no difference unless we want one. Usually nobody gives a shit about nobody, but when somebody gives a shit about something, they don't want him?

3. Similarly by closing themselves out and building a impenetrable barrier around their bond, it's highlights the differences in a country promoting Unity. In that sense, other people from states too should start making their own bond. The West Malaysians would soon start their own guild and keep certain stuff far and away from the East Malaysians simply because they are from the east.

4. Seriously, in such modern times where globalization is us why are we still practicing segregation even among fellow countrymates? What happen to goodbye racism? It is just a different version of discrimination on the same level.

5. If anything, they should be honoured that I even want to know about their going ons and be proud to have found their first fan outside homeland. It's always easier to not give a shit than give a shit.

6. Or maybe the thinkers behind them are just morons and they can do with a person like me to guide them through their dark times.

All in all I won't die if I don't join the group but sometimes a simple action goes a long, long way at telling a principle. In the name of 1Malaysia, this is a step back.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sentimental Shadow of Mine

I'm the kind of person who speaks practicality. When it comes to materialism, I'm always at the minimum. Things which I don't use though I can use/know how to make use of often always goes into the trash can after 0.01 second of contemplation.

It's so probably because having stayed alone since 17 and move house countless times, I've prefer to be detached to goods and stuff. In short, I only keep what I need. Which in general means very, very little indeed.

There is however one category of things though I don't use at all for practical reasons anymore, I still keep very well. All under the name of Sentimentality.

I wanted some certain something I've mentioned I would from the previous blog post, and in trying to find it I had to clean up my (this semester special! only) messy room. In doing so while having my mind half thinking about another story for the blog, I've noticed something I've never really took notice of before.

That I actually have a huge and wide collection things I define sentimental.

Jordan's Dictionary Sen-ti-men-tal (Stuff) noun: Anything with a worthwhile story behind it from our past. We keep because it keeps us sane and happy in the future. When the day comes we realise the time's lost but can take consolation in knowing the lost memories is actually imbued in physical memorabilia.Yeah. Happy.

Most of the time these are things money cannot buy(presents/gift/participation items) or in certain circumstances, things I bought myself to remember a certain period of my life when there's something important worth remembering( ie expedition/promotion or special someone)

Of course I knew about the collection of individual stuff, but like a true engineer once sufficient entities exist, we start to draw pattern from it and find common ground linking them. I didn't realise my collection of sentiments extends beyond what I thought they were.

I really like this new discover and I'm gonna post it on the blog to keep it, share it and immortalize it should there be no tomorrow.

This is a postcard gift from Lina, my classmate and close friend from Singapore. The content of it remains private.

Scarf and tag from ZoukOut 2010, December, Singapore's Sentosa. Attached to it is a miniature Tower of Paris from I-Vy, another close friend from Singapore too. Also attached to it is a bear from Mimi, KLIUC.

Then there's the time encapsulement memorabilia

These are my vital components and identities when I was in Singapore.

Clock wise from top: EZY link travel card, SEMBAWANG Site Project access card and Ministry of Manpower Site Safety card while working with my construction company, tcc member card, Baden Bar and Pub workplace and in the center, Singapore Polytechnic matric card.

Participation medal from SP's Biathlon in 2008. Special event because I'm not the kind of person who do competition yet I tried it. According to the medal, it's 14 laps of swimming followed by a 3.2km run. I had to be rescued of the swimming pool midway for severe cramp yet somehow still finished the whole damn thing. hahaha

Madonna's Confession on a Dancefloor album. There was a time when I would actively participate in those radio weekend lucky smser CD giveaway game and I had a collection of CDs from it. When moving made them bulky and impractical, this was my choice for the top of the lot.

Something to hang around the neck from Shihanoukville, Cambodia while on a 2 week long expedition with strangers in the name of teaching english to the unfortunate at Don Bosco School

Among some stuff I still keep from my first real girlfriend.

This is a badge I've earned from my secondary school scouting days. Back then I was such a different person from who I am today and always curse Scouts but looking back, it was my first stepping stone in achieving what I've become today. Scouts for us was a very strict regime where we would get punished week yet the bond between us always kept us coming back.

The badge represent Assistant Senior Patrol Leader, my highest rank in my 5 years commitment, the third in command of the whole troop. I've always believed that promotion is premature but this is one of the rare occasion where instead of People make Position, it's Position which made them People.

EUFA Campion's League Tour at Sunway Pyramid and I got my hands to it, 2011.

Fort Minor concert passes for 2 in 2002. My biggest winning from the radio station guys. Might not mean much now but back then in secondary 2, it was another fish way out of my league that I've got my hands on, too

This is a Christmas present from Sharon in 2007. The beautiful box kickstarted my mini vault of souvenirs idea which content includes many other personal things I didn't include on this blog entry.

I've never thought reading was my middle name until the growing numbers of personal books suggest reconsideration. Many of which I didn't finish reading, some of which doesn't even belong to me but I take pride in keep them all very well because it means something to me.

3 event tags from 3 events I've participated, each with a story of it's own. Long may the list continue.

A calender which I've modified into becoming something else. Inspiration notes from another calender pinned together with a photo of me, my brother and mum dating back to somewhere around 2006. That's one of only two pictures I bring around everywhere I go ever since moving out of my house, the other faded into timelessness when we broke up.

And lastly for today, I've made progress again by coming up with a new thing.

This is my new souvenir box. An ordinary shoe box but with anything other than ordinary stuff in it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My Second School Event And The Lesson Learned for Life

Long Post

Today was another eye opener of a day again. One that comes 2-3 times every semester but are key in defining what we've did the whole semester doing.

From contacts, I've ended up being a crew of a school event again. It a career fair organized by the school and they called in outside companies to promote their vacancies and that sort. Although it isn't as grand as the first and also less crowd, the experience of working with new people, new environment for a new purpose is really fun.

A few thoughts to note come end of day 1 of 2.

1. Meet new people. Some new but many just newer depth from older existing people. People we see and judge but don't say hi.

2. Network and contacts are actually very important. Even though I did not expect to end up doing this initially when I went around being mr.friendly, I really like where I am now. Sometimes I wonder if fate have ways of making things go my way even without any worries.

A friend asked how I always end up being part of something he doesn't even know about until it happens. I told him " In school, we've got a network of people. A few of these people at the top will take up events and they will contact their few contacts, and their contacts will contact a few more contacts. It's not just any random people, it's trusted people. It's networking.

It's all about having an a decent network, good relationships and lady luck.

3. Usually for a first time experience, we can write it off as a one off. But when we do it a second time, we start to draw lines between the similarities. And further, track back the root of causes which lead to it. In this sense, I came to concluded No.2, among others.

4. Early today morning as I was waking up and going to the venue with no idea whats in for me, I was cursing myself about how I end up doing all this Charity Work. Later in the morning too I was contemplating running away and disappearing because it's fuckin boring. But no, I told myself life isn't always easy and suck it up, and go and find something to occupy your mind with.

So the I was, thinking to myself " in a totally white background( metaphor for absolute nothingness) I am giving myself 3 targets to achieve. Like a game, this are my main quest to accomplish. I can't remember whats it now but it doesn't matter because it's part of forming the eventual.

Eventually an hour later I got really comfortable with my own existence and knew it was all going to be a good day. Another one of those rare days that defin.... you know.

5. They say the worse misses in life are those we don't even know we are missing. That's true I believe and because so, I'm always digging for the unknown in new territories. Today, that's about the prospect of finding a job one day, and also about the job world in general.

This also reinforce my own promise to myself that I will never be a working mice. I would be a learning mice. Work is just an opportunity to learn and when learning is done, I'm off. No matter how many times I'm gonna jump ship and no matter how bad it sounds, nothings gonna stop me till I found my purpose.

6. Speaking of purpose. Everyone live in their comfortable life filled with their so called problems but they don't realise, the real problems are those they don't even realise exist. My purpose is also to solve that.

7. Power. In our world today, what is the meaning of power? We know power is the agreed upon level of authority given to a person. Power also is something we get even if we don't want it because it match our worth. But what is the real meaning of power? To me, I've nothing to prove and power simply means bigger trust = bigger responsibility = bigger stakes.

For that reason, maybe it's no wonder why for two events in a row I'm always playing the supporting cast role. Smaller of smaller people, those barely inside the hierarchy. Just enough to Wow! people by saying I'm in the board and attend meetings and have says but far away from any blame in the case of a mess up.

Power is a curse to me. At lease in this school where learning and having eye-openers rank higher than being the top figure of the lot.

8. Really. I like it down here. I'm so light and easy and virtually no stress, yet have full access to whole event, meetings and plannings of it. What other better way to see around than this? Yes, I'm a runner.

9. Back to power. In todays world people are judge so easily like Lego pieces based on ranks. President is good. VP is second good. Organizing chairperson is equally as good. VOC is second equally as good. Head of Security, Head of Publicity, Head of Performance, also 3rd good. Assistant of technical support? not very good.

But heck, the truth is our perception of our rank is based heavily on the pride we put in doing the work we agree to do. Being Asst. of Tech Support is as good as anything because although it sound lame, that is my license for total roaming. With. No. Restriction.

A person's title is just a simple suggestion of his worth. May be, may not be true. But a person's worth does not need to be explained by his title. If by playing it low is the best way of doing things, then it is. But do know, cometh the hour cometh the man.

10. 90% of the board are new faces to me. Eventhough we don't work together much now and hardly talk, come the next event, this even would prove to be a huge stepping stone at networking. As it always do.

Conclusion. Based on the points above, when there is a third event I can be quite sure what to anticipate. For real. And why I do things I do, if anyone ask.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sometimes It Goes Deeper Than What Meets The Eye

This is the story about two person doing their work together in achieving a common group goal.

One volunteered and is appointed the leader. The other is joking around in class with the other guys.

One tries to get to group going, the other does little on the surface but is always moping up all the work and progress done by the group to make sure it is good and up to standard.

One suggest for a meeting. The other supports him, assist him, lead and organize the meeting and ensure the purpose of the meeting is wholly achieved.

One delegate the work initially. The other stops him doing so and volunteered to do some background research on the topic itself, come out with a plan to tackle the topic and "see how it goes first" meaning to take one step at a time as it comes though he'd already envisioned how's it to be.

One suggest a working chain of compiling report, while the other suggest a better alternative of that by removing some unnecessary steps hence reducing the time the work gets thrown around and less potential mix up.

One calls for a meeting on a public holiday prior to the actual presentation date. The other forces the rest of the group to come and also highlights the importance of it.

One tries to deal with a problem by a group member, the other forces the group member to solve the problem himself and don't make a problem for the group.

Finally today we are all gonna present for the class presentation. It's been a good fun working with my group. I've never been the kind who chooses my friends as members in most cases because I enjoy working with new people and deal with whatever problem they may bring.

Somehow for me my leadership roots goes all the way back in secondary school when we were Scouts. Today, I'd like to be the Other Guys and watch from behind the limelight. It's a good taking a break from being the leader all the time, but what's evident is leadership and leader are two different things altogether.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Flirting. Is Just Human Nature

Flirting is an art. If she flirt with you, flirt back. But don't dwell over it.

I didn't know the gravity of it when I wrote it out to a friend asking over a girl, but then I realised. I've got this flirting game covered pretty well already by now. I've seen it before enough to know it all too well.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Post Myanmar Thoughts

I went to Myanmar over the weekends and had quite a break from my routine to enjoy life yeah. Went to the city by plane, check. Visited the interesting places, tried their food and bought shirts and souvenirs, check. All that boring same old stuff.

While there I had contacted my friend's mum who lives there and had the opportunity to visit their house. That includes the whole compound, the 13 dogs, the many housekeepers and know the 3 families living there. Stayed with them and lived as them albeit for just 3 hours but it was really a new experience to see how other culture are different from the ones I know. That is the real highlight for me during the entire trip.

I also got to know one of their daughter and as the stranger she is, not surprisingly I think she's interesting. Simply because like I've mentioned she's new to me and having no facts makes the person even more mysterious and exciting. This also reinforce my theory about myself that I get bored of normality very, very fast. A life without a chance of randomness is just too plain to really live. In this case, she is the mysterious spark that ignites my engine of excitement.

I also am captivated by my friend's mum. She really helped us a lot and provided beyond great hospitality while in Myanmar. She picked us from the airport, got us a hotel for the first night, accompanied us around for like 95% of the time we spent venturing outside of the hotel. She bargained for us, she communicated for us. My family was the body where she was the voice. She really is the difference between going there, being lost and getting conned full time and a wonderful trip. She is the catalyst that covered all the failed planning on papers and made gold out of otherwise shit. Without her it would all be so different.

That's about all that's really worth saying beyond the normal see stop and shop routine foreign visitors do.

And yeah, in Myanmar there are Pagodas like everywhere. Literally.

All in all it was a good eye opener experience and a lesson to learn about life. Over and out. I might post some pictures later on when I get hold of them.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Jordan and The Sister Called

I was on Facebook chatting with my Burmese friend in Singapore about organizing my family's trip to stay at her uncle's hotel at Yangon, Myanmar upon our arrival tomorrow. It was like at the climax of a good war book where every moment seem heave and last forever yet so important all the same.

She was giving me her sister's Myanmar number, her mum's number while on the phone with the guys at Myanmar to confirm our hotel room booking.

Then I got a phone call. No number displayed. Must be one of them calling from their hotel.



Who's this?

Me la. (sister's voice)

Oh you ah.

Do you have the time to talk?

And she continue to talk about something very serious. Her future. Calls like this rarely happens but when it does, rarely are they any other option but to see it though. A call I can't decline. A call with no escape routes.

Yes I got the time to talk, sure tell me whats up.

Sister: blablabla (continues in a very serious tone)

Jordan thinks to himself: This one is gonna take forever..

All while I was chatting with my other friend on facebook at some very important issues.

So what were to eventually be will eventually be and had eventually become. I wouldn't say I didn't see this coming. But even I didn't see it coming, this one.

Did I tell you I am good at Single Tasking and only good at Single Tasking? This is Multi Tasking. no, no no..

The moment my thought said that, I laughed at myself doing this crazy Guys-Are-Not-Made-To-Do-This-Multitasking-Thing while typing. The laugh lasted for 0.00001 seconds (SERIOUS) but for some odd reason my sister somehow picked that up.

"Eh, you laughing is it?"

She thinks I'm laughing at her plan of going to work at the logistic company with her friend. I generally think it's good to but right now, I'm not actually thinking. I can't think when I'm multitasking. She thinks I'm insulting her.

You laughing is it? I heard it in my mind again. Respond quick to cover up the lie!


"Ops." (sh!t)

(moment of silence..)


I'm always very confident I can set my mind and talk my way though of slippery situations but this time I'm totally caught red handed. Lol

Of course she didn't catch the super funnyness of the situation but it's okay. She went on and on. Very serious indeed.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Girls Are Still Just Numbers

Why do guys have that deepdown desire/weakness for attractive girls? Doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing if a guy is interested in a girl, but when it becomes an unbreakable habit, to me it's always a weak link in a human's character.

Every day I see more attractive girls around me and I play mind games with myself about the what ifs. It's as if it's already an addiction to a drug. When she walks, our eyes and and mind see. Why did mother nature made us human this way? Don't tell me about the ancient mammal mating explanation. It's just unfair it's something I'm spending so much time occupied about when I can be doing better things.

Maybe it's just simply because there's few girls and lots of guys in my school, it's natural for their stock to rise above their true value. Maybe I'm just lonely.

Today I've decided I want to try treating humans not like individual special presents, but ordinary mundane numbers. Everyone is a string of numbers, different from one another because of their content but ultimately they are all still just numbers.

Exactly like that. Idea adapted from the Matrix