Friday, April 29, 2011

Family Issues.

My parents are an example of what you get by matching an insensitive person with a super sensitive person. They say marriage is all about communication and understanding. Theirs is a marriage very lacking in both of that, but held together for a common goal. The kids.

It sounds very bad here in black and white. In reality it doesn't look as bad because we've all learn to cover, hide and ignore it. That however does not erase the fact that it is what it is.

This weekend my maternal grandmum will be having her birthday party and my mom and all her siblings are looking forward to a reunion party at their childhood village. We're all gonna have a gathering at a chalet village. My dad is what I've mentioned above. Cover, hide and ignore it, and forget it for now. Hate can wait. It's always been like that.

It's a lesson to all those who know it, of what to avoid letting our future marriage become. My sister, my brother, me and you.

For now I'm looking forward to meeting my cousins and relatives. Even as kids we've came a long way to building up ties with our own cousins, ties that were once so shitty because of our internal family problems. And good food and fishing too. It doesn't solve the problem but it doesn't me I can't enjoy it.

Sometimes, Ignorance is Bliss too you see.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Reconnecting With A Teacher is the First Step in Accepting Our Past

I added my class teacher when I was in secondary 1 on Facebook. That year was 2001. A perfect decade ago. I remember her name because she's one of the few very important people you'll remember from your long education history.

She was surprised. Really surprised. Guess what? Me too. It's real. I've actually bridged the traditional-existing boundary between student and teacher.

Last night while trying to sleep I was thinking and I remembered her. I thought about that once upon a time when things were so different. She was there. She cared. Ten years down the road as impossible is becoming possible, I could reconnect with her if want. I knew I wanted to know about her too. If she's doing okay, if she's not. I care too.

I check it up on Facebook and actually found her. I sent an Add Friend request with a simple Hi Remember Me text with it.

Came back in the evening and she open new doors for good.

I dislike explaining myself but if anyone were to ask, I'll say this:

As I move forward in my life, I've come to a point where the technology from reality made it possible to connect with anybody. At present one of my current needs is to reconnect with a person who help guide me to here today. The present calls for me to reconnect with the past, and so it is.

Maybe by reconnecting with the past, I'll understand the transition period I've been in the past decade and perhaps, I'll understand myself better and be better equipped to face the future.

In short, to move forward we have to understand the past and that's our work now in the present.
Oh besides, she's all fine and good as ever. That's all a teacher hear from a returning student. And that's all an ex student needs to always know about their teacher.

We Go To School To Learn. More Importantly, We Go To School To Learn to Learn.

Talking and writing are two different things altogether.

Once upon a time I realised I walk talking very smoothly but I can't write proper shit. Another once upon a time I realised I was writing so smoothly and naturally but when I speak, it's not fluent nor smooth.

Yeah it's true.

Anyway the point of this entry is not about that.

I also realised (besides the two mentioned above) that since some time ago and more so recently, I've been speaking with excripts of songs. Powerful, meaningful or catchy lines from song. I must have subconsciously told myself to copy-store it in my memory like how all students do with their boring studies and exams.

It's amazing. It comes so naturally without noticing it.

If anything, I consider this one of the ultimate success of going to school to learn how to learn: the measurement of the degree of success is based on the implementation of the concept and that is this.

Once we get the concept right, the idea of how to learn how to learn, that ability is implemented and integrated into our life and the subject of this winning "formulas" is beyond textbook information from school.

This is what we go to school for. To learn and polish our ability to learn.

For now, my next line I want to try to use in everyday casual conversation is this: "I'm Standing Outside of Heaven Waiting for God to Come and Get Me". When I find the right situation. Ha. Exciting prospect ha.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Arguing with my sister.. online.

This is really funny.

who is rika
Report · 1:18am
Erika your cous
remember me?
Report · 1:19am
oh okay
why is her name rika chu
not tan
Report · 1:23am
err.. good question
she is creative person like you
jordan kliuc
Report · 1:24am
how do you know about her?
she added you?
Report · 1:25am
ah pek and family came to SG this week
Report · 1:26am
so you got their contacts?
Report · 1:37am
why cant you reply me on facebook
dont you have any online etiquette
Report · 1:39am
you are offline dud3e!!!
Report · 1:39am
im back online
its just off and on
Report · 1:39am
Report · 1:39am
you take forever to reply
online etiquette
Report · 1:42am
okay i just found the on off button
Report · 1:42am
im going off
i know its just an excuse saying im offline
because i can chat with other people without problem
Report · 1:43am
okay now i know..
gladys said hi
today is her first time giving tuition
Report · 1:44am
dont change topic yet
i know you'd probably ignore whatever i say like always but dont
because if you dont want to listen, then i shouldnt have told you
Report · 1:45am
told me what?
Report · 1:46am
that dont take forever to reply me on facebook
if you are busy, say you are busy
rather than keep me waiting 1 minute for 1 sentence
Report · 1:46am
I am multitasking
Report · 1:46am
Report · 1:46am
so many tabs
Report · 1:46am
then say you are busy
or make time to talk properly. then excuse yourself.
Report · 1:47am
fb isnt everything
it's not my world
Report · 1:48am
you're always saying that
last time i call your phone also you had the same problem
there is no urgency to call back
Report · 1:48am
when in singapr9oe?
Report · 1:49am
its etiquette. its not only your world, not important to you so you can treat those like that
Report · 1:49am
good memory dude
Report · 1:49am
im just saying have the decency to have etiquette
people have feelings too
its not all just in your mind
Report · 1:50am
chill la
whot happened today?
Report · 1:50am
you say as if im the problem
im not, im just making a problem for you so you understand the real problem
Report · 1:51am
which is?
Report · 1:51am
Report · 1:51am
Report · 1:51am
you are not caring for other peoples feeling enough
Report · 1:52am
Report · 1:53am
go ask around
about empathy
Report · 1:55am
where is your phone?
Report · 1:55am
next to me why
you called?
why you called?
dont want to talk
Report · 1:57am
cause I am concerned and I love
Report · 1:57am
yes i know i am concern too thats why im telling you your shortcomings
Report · 1:57am
that is not the issue isn't it. what is?
Report · 1:58am
that is the issue
that is the only issue
there is no other issue
Report · 1:58am
than why won't you pick up call
Report · 1:58am
i have no problem with me
i just dont want to talk over the phone
why cant i dont talk over the phone?
Report · 1:59am
it more presonable
Report · 1:59am
Report · 1:59am
why are you online so often?
Report · 1:59am
because im always online
i stay in the school and i dont go anywhere but stay in my room online
Report · 2:00am
how can i help?
Report · 2:00am
im not asking for any help
im telling you you lack empathy thats all
Report · 2:01am
okay, no man can every save/help himself
hope you know you're loved. thanks for telling me about my lackness
Report · 2:02am
think about it