Sunday, March 13, 2011

Enigmatic.

Being diplomatic in nature, I tend to the last one you'll put your money on in being involved in a fight.

But. That's just one side of the story. There's the other and it's pretty accurately defined as impulsive.

When I'm under negative stress, drained out and having a bad run of form often I find myself restraining myself from doing stupid things I'll most definitely regret later on. Like shoving someone from the front and beating him up without any thoughts of consequences for whatever reason. Often, the simplest of annoyance they perhaps don't even realize comes naturally.

Consequences includes losing respect from others and myself, losing friends, bad reputation, unnecessary new foes, subject of gossips and being possibly thrown out of school. Oh. and physically injured too.

Surprising perhaps but I know myself well enough through the background that when I let impulse take over me, I am able to do things. Just ask someone who I grew up fighting with often back then.

I find it quite ironic for a 80% diplomatic person to have such dark, total opposite in the remaining 20%. It's a secret very well kept hidden and forgotten but that's just me. It won't change, that's who I am.

No comments: