Sunday, March 13, 2011

Dsipiontmnet.

Spend many hours of the whole day dedicated entirely for one purpose, faultless in the effort spent but at the end of the day when it all boils down to one thing, it comes to nothing.

And how timely for the Arsenal vs Man U match being what it was, summed up exactly how I've been. So much effort and a more than solid reason but so lacking the heart and ultimately it cost us the result.

Just like how the tabloids would call it, A night to forget.

Enigmatic.

Being diplomatic in nature, I tend to the last one you'll put your money on in being involved in a fight.

But. That's just one side of the story. There's the other and it's pretty accurately defined as impulsive.

When I'm under negative stress, drained out and having a bad run of form often I find myself restraining myself from doing stupid things I'll most definitely regret later on. Like shoving someone from the front and beating him up without any thoughts of consequences for whatever reason. Often, the simplest of annoyance they perhaps don't even realize comes naturally.

Consequences includes losing respect from others and myself, losing friends, bad reputation, unnecessary new foes, subject of gossips and being possibly thrown out of school. Oh. and physically injured too.

Surprising perhaps but I know myself well enough through the background that when I let impulse take over me, I am able to do things. Just ask someone who I grew up fighting with often back then.

I find it quite ironic for a 80% diplomatic person to have such dark, total opposite in the remaining 20%. It's a secret very well kept hidden and forgotten but that's just me. It won't change, that's who I am.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Whatever Tomorrow Brings I'll Be There.

This.


Different avenues offers opportunities to demonstrate different attributes of us to the world.


I took me years to figure this concept out as opposed to seconds to construct that line out but here it is.

I may not be able to explain why I do what I do immediately, now, or if ever, but time and time again I find reason and justifications for decisions I've made later on in life. And it totally supports the principle that help made that decision then.

So in all, don't be surprise if I sound so elderly and serious on some Facebook chat, serious and plain on some status replies, disillusioned with my FB status, crazy and wacky on some other chats and comments, authoritative during a mix up, hilarious during dinner and so full of nonsense when I'm talking to my brother.

Because that's just the way I am. Even for those close around me, I'm not entirely predictable too. Whatever it is, it now comes naturally. Long way from who I was once upon a time.

In the words of Limp Bizkit, " I'm a million different person from one day to the next "