Friday, November 18, 2011

A lecturer once said:

A girl may be hot but a person with knowledge is sexier.

Then I figured later on this:

Knowledge is sexy but information about other people (without their knowledge) is sexier.

And now I figured this:

Real knowledge in the art of getting information about people is dangerous. I've become the danger to others.

Another Secret They Didn't Tell You About

Fact is if we spend the amount of time spent on reading the books on reading people, we'll actually go further than just reading the books might bring us. Instead of using the knowledge from the books, we are using the people who's using the knowledge from the books.

Nowander the best people around aren't the ones who read the books best.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'm stopping blogging.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Believing is Being.

I had erased the left side before wishing I hadn't done that before this.

I had written this super detailed manuscript about a new concept I wanted to experiment out on my surrounding. At the moment of writing this, I was really contemplating doing it and skeptical about it. Alas, I had to write it down.

The underlying concept here about doing so it by writing it out, we are gratificating it into our reality. Even if it is not our reality, by saying it many times and putting our mind into thinking of it and heart into believe it, this shows it can and eventually will be our reality.

I wrote a very extensive instruction to myself on how a step by step explanation on how to make my reality become something it isn't. It wasn't easy to believe a non fact, but one week later I felt the whole manuscript is now redundant already.

Was it really necessary? The way things is now, I have doubts. But in truth it surely was. It shows that people can adapt to changes, be it natural or self inflicted.

As I'm erasing the whole lot, I can't help but summarized it in my mind into just a few words..

One more. The content of it, that's something I'm not gonna share yet ;)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

This Is Reality

Today (Sunday the 19th June 2011) is mother's birthday and father's day.

And all three kids are officially out of the house already.

Must be lonely for them.

Friday, June 17, 2011

An Interesting Person Living A Boring Life.

..doesn't make the person a boring person, unlike what's commonly inferred. It shows, among others, the person have focus and a plan.

Last semester I had one of the greatest experience and sweetest memories of my short life and I concluded noone really knows anyone nowadays. How am suppose to share what I've gone through was beyond me, alas share I did not.

For this semester holiday I've decided to spend my holidays by just staying at the hostel, my own room, without doing anything. No outings, no shopping, no dating, no clubbing, no parties, no camping, no great outdoor, nothing. People keep asking me " When are you going back? When are you going home?"

And I'll answer as always, I'm not going back, this is my home.

The home ya' all referrin' to is technically my parent's house and they brought me up there. Same goes with my sister and brother. Like a bird from a nest, once they've grown old enough they'll fly on their own. That house is just another house. Time's changed and people changed too, the home it was now is just another empty plot waiting for time to decide it's fate. No doubt it has sentimental values, but I doubt there is any present home value to it anymore.

Even my dog realises that and doesn't stay there much anymore. Speaks alot by itself.

And they'll think I'm crazy. I'll think they're disillusioned. It seems nobody else beside me seem to realise that home is where we are, not where we think we should be? What the hell is wrong with the world today.

Yes, I am staying in the quiet campus, in my own room. Not doing anything, boring it sure is. But unlike most who just walk through their life, mine's all planned ahead. I'm staying in my room because I'm sticking to my own belief that I've seen enough of the outside world, and the answer to my biggest concern right now lies in me. I need time for myself. Away from all the media influence and distractions of this modern world.

I'd rather grounded me here with a plan, than flying without a destination me there.

If I had the means, I would reteach the whole world how to live life the correct way.

Boring I am not, I'm just choosing to do what others consider least fun. For those who know me well, you bet I'm having the time of my life again, as ever.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The World Revolve Around Us, So We Better Start Being In Control! before we spiral to nowhereness

There's a saying that goes:

Small minds talk about people;
Average mind talks about events;
Great minds talks about ideas.

If that's true (it is!) then I would be in the 3rd category because I'm always talking about ideas, concepts, phillosophy and principles.

I do sometimes talk about events though honestly speaking, I find it a heavy topic to talk about because it's all about the past and talking about it means spending effort and resources retelling something that's dead.

Maybe one day technology would enable us to just output our history and stories out effortlessly, like a thumb drive revealing the daily log of a machine/robot. But for now, for me I find it a hassle. Hassle but one necessary to be normal in this world.

Next, I spend even less time discussing about people, if ever. People. It just doesn't interest me at all. Since many years already I've concluded that people are just free numbers. They may be anything, any value, but at the end of the day their behavior is not totally unpredictable. Just like numbers, whatever they are, they are still figures.

All of the above is to relate to another point of mine I'm trying to make right now.

This world knows a culture of drinking for social reasons. For some reason people have the tendency to judge others by their behavior or rather ability to drink, not get drunk but eventually still get wasted. My peers seems to be the ones always clubbing, drinking and smoking, and by not drinking clubbing regularly and definitely not smoking, it's obvious I'll always be the odd one out.

I've always allowed that knowledge to somewhat consume me, but today (out of the blues) I've decided I will from today onwards, be a self declared "clean person". That means no drinking for social reasons to prove ranking, no clubbing for coolness and no smoking. I might still drink occasionally for my own pleasure, but it will definitely not be because of social image. Fuck that.

Like in whatever we do, the real pride we get from doing something is by doing that something with real pride. I will take pride in not bowing to society's stereotype definition of coolness.

Yeah. The next time anyone asks me, I'll say I don't drink, I don't club and I don't smoke. That's just so fucking awesome, I believe it is, and I will take pride in that belief.

Dislikes Noisy People

I don't like people who talk so much. I'm referring to no one in particular, but this kind of people should just shut up.

Some say talking much comes naturally. If that's so, then your kind better stay far far from me.

Others who talks alot are actually the ones who spend their talking time telling jokes/being hilarious. Yes it's fun and pleasuring, but overdoing it kills it too. Even they should know when to stop.

My kind. Despite what it sometimes seem that I'm a boring person/lost at random conversations, I would reckon I'm far from actually being a boring person. I have my own time of funny laughter and also my own ways of being funny without the great amount of talking. Humour is an art, it's a style, it's part of my swagger; talking alot isn't.

Just a random thought. Those of you who knows me in person would be able to relate what I'm saying here quite well.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

This Life Really Is A Bittersweet Symphony

I seem to have that outlook which gives people the incorrect impression about me. Like when I'm studying, people seem to think I'm doing it so well as if I've spent my whole life eating the book and the bookworms, stuff like that.

It's no wonders too how I'm always being stereotyped, treated like I'm the genuine deal like people who have been doing that all their life. Genuine I am not. For example I used to suck so badly in studies many times I considered forfeiting education altogether. Most whatever I am today is because I wanted or needed to be like that. By passion or by pressure, or both.

Furthermore, I actually take offense in people prejudging me into becoming what I never really am, and treating me as if I'm like that. I find it offensive because in deciding that approach, they have rested their case and made their mind up, and I eventually become what they think I am because of their initial impression. All of which is incorrect.

Maybe I should think of a new approach in life. It seems this life is filled with single styled individuals so much so till being single style is almost to be expected of humans. I honestly don't see why can't a person be 2/3 personalities in one mould, and free to interchange between them as he likes. To put things into perspective, having multiple personality itself is a type of personality.

Like from a computer game, there's this one particular hero who speciality is at replicating others. I like to think myself as that. Watch, look, learn and mimic.

Away from conceptual stuff and back to real world, I think I should include a new ability. That is, to sell my qualities because so far being passive isn't really stimulating the forces of the world to react the way I want them to.

Till then, over and out.

From The Verve Pipe's Bittersweet Symphony:

I'm a million different person from one day to the next.

And I can change my mould.
And I'm loving every bit of it.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained. Pt.2

Do anyone else beside me realise there's this something called the awkward mood? It's when we step out of our comfort zone of tried and tested, routine option and into a new world of possibilities we've never actually tried before?

It's like everyday Mr.A goes to B via road C and after 100 years of doing so, he decided he should try out road D. That new feeling of being slight out of place, mixed emotions possibly excited possibly nervous, unknown outcome. That's the awkward feeling I'm talking about.

I've been thinking lately maybe the reason we become what we are is because of our predictability when it comes to opportunities for awkward moments. We naturally turn them down without much thought.

So for the coming near future, I'm going to try to get out of my safe zone and do the things I don't usually do, some things which I consider doing but never done because of past-reasons. Yeah.

For a start, like wearing shades in the night among a bunch of strangers yesterday. And sitting by the sidewalk along the school gardens to study in the afternoon.

And now, ignoring a girl I like.

Girl Issue

There's this one girl I like and the more I think of her, the more I tell myself I should not think of her. I woke up today telling myself FU and challenged myself to take up the 7-Day-No-Contacting-Her challenge. So far still so good.

From past lessons I know what I am. I only like her now because I don't know what is she about. From past observation I've long concluded an ending for this kind of craze: that when I know her, I will lose interest in her and she will be just another stupid girl.

Somehow for some reason we guys are made by nature to like girls, yet it's no surprise since time ever existed, girls are always the cause for trouble among guys. If only it was that simple.

I've decided to play it slow. I'll do nothing and just go with the flow. Where will it bring me?

It's 5.30 am and I don't Know Why I'm Not Asleep

I'm here and I don't know how I came here or why am I here.

I'm always confused with my own existence and sometimes in trying to figure out a solution for part of a problem, I just make the problem bigger. Like now.

I've got such a complicated mind, my whole life is spent trying to be normal.

If I could project it out for the world to see crystal clearly, a great majority will be freaked out and run away. That's what it really is.

My written English, my language, my choice of words and it's degree of articulation, aiding in me trying to speak out my mind, my thoughts and the great complexity of it all is not even the surface fo the iceberg.

I'm going to bed now.

Like Gandhi once quoted saying, Each night when I go to sleep, I die. Each next morning when I wake up, I am born again.

System reboot.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Haven't been updating lately, and won't be updating lately because my hand is not okay. So much for typing.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Never At The Right Age

It speaks volume that most of my close female friends which I feel sincere about and comfortable around are those my seniors?

Maybe I'm mentally ahead of my own biological time, or maybe I condescend those my junior and never take them seriously to even notice them? I feel so screwed up.

Life is such a mystery.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Learning vs Education: Where One Stops, The Other Is Not The End

This semester I'm taking a subject called Economics. Despite my many years of formal and self learning, Economics is one subject I've shallow knowledge about with respect to the concurrent level of world/general knowledge. Though common sense dictates it's easier to understand than my normal engineering stuff, I never really had formal education on Economics having been a science stream student my whole life, with a dose of Accountancy. Until now.

It is not unfathomable and not a surprise for me to see my desire for knowledge on this topic grow with each passing day as the more of what little I know from class, the more I know I don't know from materials and exposure outside class. With the emergence of Internet technology opening up gateways for unlimited information, it's all just a Google+Wiki search away.

As fellow uni mates would also know, this semester is different from the ordinary because it's short. Subjects allowed to be taken are reduced by half because each subject needs twice as much time per week since the short sem is half the duration of a long sem but the syllabus still need to be fully covered in time. For some reason my lecturer is not able to cover the whole syllabus and it's really a huge miss for those who actually genuinely care about learning, not just grades.

Sometimes I don't know if I blame the lecturers incompetence for teaching too slowly to my liking, or maybe it's just a right person caught up in a wrong situation. Maybe the class population in general needs a slower pace or maybe nobody really gives a shit about economics, but fact remains he won't be able to cover it all up this semester. Such a waste. Grades aside, there is something fundamentally wrong about this whole reality. Weren't we told since young we come to school to learn?

I've been pondering about this issue subconsciously, on and off for many weeks now and I think I've finally decided what to do.

Next semester, should circumstances permit, I would arrange with the situation to allow myself rejoin next semester's Economics class. More specifically, for those particular chapters he couldn't cover this semester. It's not the first time trying this, it's been positive really as a teacher can not really turn away eager to learn students outside formality.

I'll be looking forward to next semester to tie up this semesters loose ends. The unfinished business of lifelong learning at KLIUC.

Where Does Our Difference Start?

I have a situation that is worth my attention.

Introduction
Borneo is vast island which is divided and shared by three countries: Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia. From a purely Malaysia point of view, it represents the East side of the country. The population there consist of various native ethnics and many born East Malaysians have move abroad in search for better opportunities.

The Situation
Ever since coming to KLIUC, I've befriend many East Malaysians because to be honest, East Malaysia is somewhere I've never been and have little knowledge about. I find it interesting to know them and perhaps have a better idea of what's it like there.

Recently the East Malaysians had formed a new guild to unite themselves while away from home. I personally saw this as an opportunity to learning one step further.

The Issue
On Facebook they've followed up the meeting with the creation of an online group. When I requested in, I got told it's only open to East Malaysians. A closed group it is.

My Perspective.
If anything, this is plain discrimination. To let outsiders in a place they don't belong may be odd and a little awkward, but to keep outsiders out is just discriminating.

A few points worth noting:
1. The only thing everyone in have in common is their place of birth, and that is something I have no control over. To disallow an genuine interest a opportunity to be interested because of my background is the same as saying Black people is bad. They never had a chance to choose their colour too but they're still discriminated.

2. Even more odd, the East Malaysians coming to West Malaysia, forming a group and totally closing out the West Malaysians? You see? We are all Malaysians. Be it East or West, even so there is no difference unless we want one. Usually nobody gives a shit about nobody, but when somebody gives a shit about something, they don't want him?

3. Similarly by closing themselves out and building a impenetrable barrier around their bond, it's highlights the differences in a country promoting Unity. In that sense, other people from states too should start making their own bond. The West Malaysians would soon start their own guild and keep certain stuff far and away from the East Malaysians simply because they are from the east.

4. Seriously, in such modern times where globalization is us why are we still practicing segregation even among fellow countrymates? What happen to goodbye racism? It is just a different version of discrimination on the same level.

5. If anything, they should be honoured that I even want to know about their going ons and be proud to have found their first fan outside homeland. It's always easier to not give a shit than give a shit.

6. Or maybe the thinkers behind them are just morons and they can do with a person like me to guide them through their dark times.

All in all I won't die if I don't join the group but sometimes a simple action goes a long, long way at telling a principle. In the name of 1Malaysia, this is a step back.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sentimental Shadow of Mine

I'm the kind of person who speaks practicality. When it comes to materialism, I'm always at the minimum. Things which I don't use though I can use/know how to make use of often always goes into the trash can after 0.01 second of contemplation.

It's so probably because having stayed alone since 17 and move house countless times, I've prefer to be detached to goods and stuff. In short, I only keep what I need. Which in general means very, very little indeed.

There is however one category of things though I don't use at all for practical reasons anymore, I still keep very well. All under the name of Sentimentality.

I wanted some certain something I've mentioned I would from the previous blog post, and in trying to find it I had to clean up my (this semester special! only) messy room. In doing so while having my mind half thinking about another story for the blog, I've noticed something I've never really took notice of before.

That I actually have a huge and wide collection things I define sentimental.

Jordan's Dictionary Sen-ti-men-tal (Stuff) noun: Anything with a worthwhile story behind it from our past. We keep because it keeps us sane and happy in the future. When the day comes we realise the time's lost but can take consolation in knowing the lost memories is actually imbued in physical memorabilia.Yeah. Happy.

Most of the time these are things money cannot buy(presents/gift/participation items) or in certain circumstances, things I bought myself to remember a certain period of my life when there's something important worth remembering( ie expedition/promotion or special someone)

Of course I knew about the collection of individual stuff, but like a true engineer once sufficient entities exist, we start to draw pattern from it and find common ground linking them. I didn't realise my collection of sentiments extends beyond what I thought they were.

I really like this new discover and I'm gonna post it on the blog to keep it, share it and immortalize it should there be no tomorrow.


This is a postcard gift from Lina, my classmate and close friend from Singapore. The content of it remains private.


Scarf and tag from ZoukOut 2010, December, Singapore's Sentosa. Attached to it is a miniature Tower of Paris from I-Vy, another close friend from Singapore too. Also attached to it is a bear from Mimi, KLIUC.

Then there's the time encapsulement memorabilia


These are my vital components and identities when I was in Singapore.

Clock wise from top: EZY link travel card, SEMBAWANG Site Project access card and Ministry of Manpower Site Safety card while working with my construction company, tcc member card, Baden Bar and Pub workplace and in the center, Singapore Polytechnic matric card.

Participation medal from SP's Biathlon in 2008. Special event because I'm not the kind of person who do competition yet I tried it. According to the medal, it's 14 laps of swimming followed by a 3.2km run. I had to be rescued of the swimming pool midway for severe cramp yet somehow still finished the whole damn thing. hahaha

Madonna's Confession on a Dancefloor album. There was a time when I would actively participate in those radio weekend lucky smser CD giveaway game and I had a collection of CDs from it. When moving made them bulky and impractical, this was my choice for the top of the lot.

Something to hang around the neck from Shihanoukville, Cambodia while on a 2 week long expedition with strangers in the name of teaching english to the unfortunate at Don Bosco School

Among some stuff I still keep from my first real girlfriend.

This is a badge I've earned from my secondary school scouting days. Back then I was such a different person from who I am today and always curse Scouts but looking back, it was my first stepping stone in achieving what I've become today. Scouts for us was a very strict regime where we would get punished week yet the bond between us always kept us coming back.

The badge represent Assistant Senior Patrol Leader, my highest rank in my 5 years commitment, the third in command of the whole troop. I've always believed that promotion is premature but this is one of the rare occasion where instead of People make Position, it's Position which made them People.

EUFA Campion's League Tour at Sunway Pyramid and I got my hands to it, 2011.

Fort Minor concert passes for 2 in 2002. My biggest winning from the radio station guys. Might not mean much now but back then in secondary 2, it was another fish way out of my league that I've got my hands on, too

This is a Christmas present from Sharon in 2007. The beautiful box kickstarted my mini vault of souvenirs idea which content includes many other personal things I didn't include on this blog entry.

I've never thought reading was my middle name until the growing numbers of personal books suggest reconsideration. Many of which I didn't finish reading, some of which doesn't even belong to me but I take pride in keep them all very well because it means something to me.

3 event tags from 3 events I've participated, each with a story of it's own. Long may the list continue.

A calender which I've modified into becoming something else. Inspiration notes from another calender pinned together with a photo of me, my brother and mum dating back to somewhere around 2006. That's one of only two pictures I bring around everywhere I go ever since moving out of my house, the other faded into timelessness when we broke up.

And lastly for today, I've made progress again by coming up with a new thing.

This is my new souvenir box. An ordinary shoe box but with anything other than ordinary stuff in it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My Second School Event And The Lesson Learned for Life

Long Post

Today was another eye opener of a day again. One that comes 2-3 times every semester but are key in defining what we've did the whole semester doing.

From contacts, I've ended up being a crew of a school event again. It a career fair organized by the school and they called in outside companies to promote their vacancies and that sort. Although it isn't as grand as the first and also less crowd, the experience of working with new people, new environment for a new purpose is really fun.

A few thoughts to note come end of day 1 of 2.

1. Meet new people. Some new but many just newer depth from older existing people. People we see and judge but don't say hi.

2. Network and contacts are actually very important. Even though I did not expect to end up doing this initially when I went around being mr.friendly, I really like where I am now. Sometimes I wonder if fate have ways of making things go my way even without any worries.

A friend asked how I always end up being part of something he doesn't even know about until it happens. I told him " In school, we've got a network of people. A few of these people at the top will take up events and they will contact their few contacts, and their contacts will contact a few more contacts. It's not just any random people, it's trusted people. It's networking.

It's all about having an a decent network, good relationships and lady luck.

3. Usually for a first time experience, we can write it off as a one off. But when we do it a second time, we start to draw lines between the similarities. And further, track back the root of causes which lead to it. In this sense, I came to concluded No.2, among others.

4. Early today morning as I was waking up and going to the venue with no idea whats in for me, I was cursing myself about how I end up doing all this Charity Work. Later in the morning too I was contemplating running away and disappearing because it's fuckin boring. But no, I told myself life isn't always easy and suck it up, and go and find something to occupy your mind with.

So the I was, thinking to myself " in a totally white background( metaphor for absolute nothingness) I am giving myself 3 targets to achieve. Like a game, this are my main quest to accomplish. I can't remember whats it now but it doesn't matter because it's part of forming the eventual.

Eventually an hour later I got really comfortable with my own existence and knew it was all going to be a good day. Another one of those rare days that defin.... you know.

5. They say the worse misses in life are those we don't even know we are missing. That's true I believe and because so, I'm always digging for the unknown in new territories. Today, that's about the prospect of finding a job one day, and also about the job world in general.

This also reinforce my own promise to myself that I will never be a working mice. I would be a learning mice. Work is just an opportunity to learn and when learning is done, I'm off. No matter how many times I'm gonna jump ship and no matter how bad it sounds, nothings gonna stop me till I found my purpose.

6. Speaking of purpose. Everyone live in their comfortable life filled with their so called problems but they don't realise, the real problems are those they don't even realise exist. My purpose is also to solve that.

7. Power. In our world today, what is the meaning of power? We know power is the agreed upon level of authority given to a person. Power also is something we get even if we don't want it because it match our worth. But what is the real meaning of power? To me, I've nothing to prove and power simply means bigger trust = bigger responsibility = bigger stakes.

For that reason, maybe it's no wonder why for two events in a row I'm always playing the supporting cast role. Smaller of smaller people, those barely inside the hierarchy. Just enough to Wow! people by saying I'm in the board and attend meetings and have says but far away from any blame in the case of a mess up.

Power is a curse to me. At lease in this school where learning and having eye-openers rank higher than being the top figure of the lot.

8. Really. I like it down here. I'm so light and easy and virtually no stress, yet have full access to whole event, meetings and plannings of it. What other better way to see around than this? Yes, I'm a runner.

9. Back to power. In todays world people are judge so easily like Lego pieces based on ranks. President is good. VP is second good. Organizing chairperson is equally as good. VOC is second equally as good. Head of Security, Head of Publicity, Head of Performance, also 3rd good. Assistant of technical support? not very good.

But heck, the truth is our perception of our rank is based heavily on the pride we put in doing the work we agree to do. Being Asst. of Tech Support is as good as anything because although it sound lame, that is my license for total roaming. With. No. Restriction.

A person's title is just a simple suggestion of his worth. May be, may not be true. But a person's worth does not need to be explained by his title. If by playing it low is the best way of doing things, then it is. But do know, cometh the hour cometh the man.

10. 90% of the board are new faces to me. Eventhough we don't work together much now and hardly talk, come the next event, this even would prove to be a huge stepping stone at networking. As it always do.

Conclusion. Based on the points above, when there is a third event I can be quite sure what to anticipate. For real. And why I do things I do, if anyone ask.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sometimes It Goes Deeper Than What Meets The Eye

This is the story about two person doing their work together in achieving a common group goal.

One volunteered and is appointed the leader. The other is joking around in class with the other guys.

One tries to get to group going, the other does little on the surface but is always moping up all the work and progress done by the group to make sure it is good and up to standard.

One suggest for a meeting. The other supports him, assist him, lead and organize the meeting and ensure the purpose of the meeting is wholly achieved.

One delegate the work initially. The other stops him doing so and volunteered to do some background research on the topic itself, come out with a plan to tackle the topic and "see how it goes first" meaning to take one step at a time as it comes though he'd already envisioned how's it to be.

One suggest a working chain of compiling report, while the other suggest a better alternative of that by removing some unnecessary steps hence reducing the time the work gets thrown around and less potential mix up.

One calls for a meeting on a public holiday prior to the actual presentation date. The other forces the rest of the group to come and also highlights the importance of it.

One tries to deal with a problem by a group member, the other forces the group member to solve the problem himself and don't make a problem for the group.


Finally today we are all gonna present for the class presentation. It's been a good fun working with my group. I've never been the kind who chooses my friends as members in most cases because I enjoy working with new people and deal with whatever problem they may bring.

Somehow for me my leadership roots goes all the way back in secondary school when we were Scouts. Today, I'd like to be the Other Guys and watch from behind the limelight. It's a good taking a break from being the leader all the time, but what's evident is leadership and leader are two different things altogether.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Flirting. Is Just Human Nature

Flirting is an art. If she flirt with you, flirt back. But don't dwell over it.

I didn't know the gravity of it when I wrote it out to a friend asking over a girl, but then I realised. I've got this flirting game covered pretty well already by now. I've seen it before enough to know it all too well.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Post Myanmar Thoughts

I went to Myanmar over the weekends and had quite a break from my routine to enjoy life yeah. Went to the city by plane, check. Visited the interesting places, tried their food and bought shirts and souvenirs, check. All that boring same old stuff.

While there I had contacted my friend's mum who lives there and had the opportunity to visit their house. That includes the whole compound, the 13 dogs, the many housekeepers and know the 3 families living there. Stayed with them and lived as them albeit for just 3 hours but it was really a new experience to see how other culture are different from the ones I know. That is the real highlight for me during the entire trip.

I also got to know one of their daughter and as the stranger she is, not surprisingly I think she's interesting. Simply because like I've mentioned she's new to me and having no facts makes the person even more mysterious and exciting. This also reinforce my theory about myself that I get bored of normality very, very fast. A life without a chance of randomness is just too plain to really live. In this case, she is the mysterious spark that ignites my engine of excitement.

I also am captivated by my friend's mum. She really helped us a lot and provided beyond great hospitality while in Myanmar. She picked us from the airport, got us a hotel for the first night, accompanied us around for like 95% of the time we spent venturing outside of the hotel. She bargained for us, she communicated for us. My family was the body where she was the voice. She really is the difference between going there, being lost and getting conned full time and a wonderful trip. She is the catalyst that covered all the failed planning on papers and made gold out of otherwise shit. Without her it would all be so different.

That's about all that's really worth saying beyond the normal see stop and shop routine foreign visitors do.

And yeah, in Myanmar there are Pagodas like everywhere. Literally.

All in all it was a good eye opener experience and a lesson to learn about life. Over and out. I might post some pictures later on when I get hold of them.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Jordan and The Sister Called

I was on Facebook chatting with my Burmese friend in Singapore about organizing my family's trip to stay at her uncle's hotel at Yangon, Myanmar upon our arrival tomorrow. It was like at the climax of a good war book where every moment seem heave and last forever yet so important all the same.

She was giving me her sister's Myanmar number, her mum's number while on the phone with the guys at Myanmar to confirm our hotel room booking.

Then I got a phone call. No number displayed. Must be one of them calling from their hotel.

Hi.

Hi.

Who's this?

Me la. (sister's voice)

Oh you ah.

Do you have the time to talk?


And she continue to talk about something very serious. Her future. Calls like this rarely happens but when it does, rarely are they any other option but to see it though. A call I can't decline. A call with no escape routes.

Yes I got the time to talk, sure tell me whats up.

Sister: blablabla (continues in a very serious tone)

Jordan thinks to himself: This one is gonna take forever..



All while I was chatting with my other friend on facebook at some very important issues.

So what were to eventually be will eventually be and had eventually become. I wouldn't say I didn't see this coming. But even I didn't see it coming, this one.

Did I tell you I am good at Single Tasking and only good at Single Tasking? This is Multi Tasking. no, no no..


The moment my thought said that, I laughed at myself doing this crazy Guys-Are-Not-Made-To-Do-This-Multitasking-Thing while typing. The laugh lasted for 0.00001 seconds (SERIOUS) but for some odd reason my sister somehow picked that up.

"Eh, you laughing is it?"


She thinks I'm laughing at her plan of going to work at the logistic company with her friend. I generally think it's good to but right now, I'm not actually thinking. I can't think when I'm multitasking. She thinks I'm insulting her.

You laughing is it? I heard it in my mind again. Respond quick to cover up the lie!

"Oh no I'm not hehhhhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!"

"Ops." (sh!t)

(moment of silence..)

lol.

I'm always very confident I can set my mind and talk my way though of slippery situations but this time I'm totally caught red handed. Lol

Of course she didn't catch the super funnyness of the situation but it's okay. She went on and on. Very serious indeed.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Girls Are Still Just Numbers



Why do guys have that deepdown desire/weakness for attractive girls? Doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing if a guy is interested in a girl, but when it becomes an unbreakable habit, to me it's always a weak link in a human's character.

Every day I see more attractive girls around me and I play mind games with myself about the what ifs. It's as if it's already an addiction to a drug. When she walks, our eyes and and mind see. Why did mother nature made us human this way? Don't tell me about the ancient mammal mating explanation. It's just unfair it's something I'm spending so much time occupied about when I can be doing better things.

Maybe it's just simply because there's few girls and lots of guys in my school, it's natural for their stock to rise above their true value. Maybe I'm just lonely.

Today I've decided I want to try treating humans not like individual special presents, but ordinary mundane numbers. Everyone is a string of numbers, different from one another because of their content but ultimately they are all still just numbers.

Exactly like that. Idea adapted from the Matrix

Friday, April 29, 2011

Family Issues.

My parents are an example of what you get by matching an insensitive person with a super sensitive person. They say marriage is all about communication and understanding. Theirs is a marriage very lacking in both of that, but held together for a common goal. The kids.

It sounds very bad here in black and white. In reality it doesn't look as bad because we've all learn to cover, hide and ignore it. That however does not erase the fact that it is what it is.

This weekend my maternal grandmum will be having her birthday party and my mom and all her siblings are looking forward to a reunion party at their childhood village. We're all gonna have a gathering at a chalet village. My dad is what I've mentioned above. Cover, hide and ignore it, and forget it for now. Hate can wait. It's always been like that.

It's a lesson to all those who know it, of what to avoid letting our future marriage become. My sister, my brother, me and you.

For now I'm looking forward to meeting my cousins and relatives. Even as kids we've came a long way to building up ties with our own cousins, ties that were once so shitty because of our internal family problems. And good food and fishing too. It doesn't solve the problem but it doesn't me I can't enjoy it.

Sometimes, Ignorance is Bliss too you see.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Reconnecting With A Teacher is the First Step in Accepting Our Past

I added my class teacher when I was in secondary 1 on Facebook. That year was 2001. A perfect decade ago. I remember her name because she's one of the few very important people you'll remember from your long education history.

She was surprised. Really surprised. Guess what? Me too. It's real. I've actually bridged the traditional-existing boundary between student and teacher.

Last night while trying to sleep I was thinking and I remembered her. I thought about that once upon a time when things were so different. She was there. She cared. Ten years down the road as impossible is becoming possible, I could reconnect with her if want. I knew I wanted to know about her too. If she's doing okay, if she's not. I care too.

I check it up on Facebook and actually found her. I sent an Add Friend request with a simple Hi Remember Me text with it.

Came back in the evening and she open new doors for good.

I dislike explaining myself but if anyone were to ask, I'll say this:

As I move forward in my life, I've come to a point where the technology from reality made it possible to connect with anybody. At present one of my current needs is to reconnect with a person who help guide me to here today. The present calls for me to reconnect with the past, and so it is.

Maybe by reconnecting with the past, I'll understand the transition period I've been in the past decade and perhaps, I'll understand myself better and be better equipped to face the future.

In short, to move forward we have to understand the past and that's our work now in the present.
Oh besides, she's all fine and good as ever. That's all a teacher hear from a returning student. And that's all an ex student needs to always know about their teacher.

We Go To School To Learn. More Importantly, We Go To School To Learn to Learn.

Talking and writing are two different things altogether.

Once upon a time I realised I walk talking very smoothly but I can't write proper shit. Another once upon a time I realised I was writing so smoothly and naturally but when I speak, it's not fluent nor smooth.

Yeah it's true.

Anyway the point of this entry is not about that.

I also realised (besides the two mentioned above) that since some time ago and more so recently, I've been speaking with excripts of songs. Powerful, meaningful or catchy lines from song. I must have subconsciously told myself to copy-store it in my memory like how all students do with their boring studies and exams.

It's amazing. It comes so naturally without noticing it.

If anything, I consider this one of the ultimate success of going to school to learn how to learn: the measurement of the degree of success is based on the implementation of the concept and that is this.

Once we get the concept right, the idea of how to learn how to learn, that ability is implemented and integrated into our life and the subject of this winning "formulas" is beyond textbook information from school.

This is what we go to school for. To learn and polish our ability to learn.

For now, my next line I want to try to use in everyday casual conversation is this: "I'm Standing Outside of Heaven Waiting for God to Come and Get Me". When I find the right situation. Ha. Exciting prospect ha.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Arguing with my sister.. online.

This is really funny.

hi
who is rika
Report · 1:18am
Erika your cous
remember me?
Report · 1:19am
oh okay
why is her name rika chu
not tan
Report · 1:23am
err.. good question
she is creative person like you
jordan kliuc
Report · 1:24am
how do you know about her?
she added you?
Report · 1:25am
ah pek and family came to SG this week
Report · 1:26am
so you got their contacts?
Report · 1:37am
why cant you reply me on facebook
dont you have any online etiquette
Report · 1:39am
you are offline dud3e!!!
Report · 1:39am
im back online
its just off and on
Report · 1:39am
oh!
Report · 1:39am
you take forever to reply
zzz
online etiquette
Report · 1:42am
okay i just found the on off button
Report · 1:42am
im going off
bye
i know its just an excuse saying im offline
because i can chat with other people without problem
Report · 1:43am
okay now i know..
gladys said hi
today is her first time giving tuition
haha
Report · 1:44am
dont change topic yet
i know you'd probably ignore whatever i say like always but dont
because if you dont want to listen, then i shouldnt have told you
Report · 1:45am
told me what?
explain
pls
Report · 1:46am
that dont take forever to reply me on facebook
if you are busy, say you are busy
rather than keep me waiting 1 minute for 1 sentence
Report · 1:46am
I am multitasking
Report · 1:46am
i KNOW
I AM NOT
Report · 1:46am
so many tabs
coll
Report · 1:46am
WHY SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU TO DO YOUR TASKS
then say you are busy
or make time to talk properly. then excuse yourself.
Report · 1:47am
ok
fb isnt everything
it's not my world
Report · 1:48am
you're always saying that
last time i call your phone also you had the same problem
there is no urgency to call back
Report · 1:48am
when in singapr9oe?
Report · 1:49am
its etiquette. its not only your world, not important to you so you can treat those like that
yes
Report · 1:49am
good memory dude
Report · 1:49am
im just saying have the decency to have etiquette
people have feelings too
its not all just in your mind
Report · 1:50am
chill la
whot happened today?
Report · 1:50am
you say as if im the problem
im not, im just making a problem for you so you understand the real problem
Report · 1:51am
which is?
me?
Report · 1:51am
yes
Report · 1:51am
okay
Report · 1:51am
you are not caring for other peoples feeling enough
empathy
Report · 1:52am
ok
Report · 1:53am
go ask around
about empathy
Report · 1:55am
where is your phone?
Report · 1:55am
next to me why
you called?
why you called?
dont want to talk
Report · 1:57am
cause I am concerned and I love
Report · 1:57am
yes i know i am concern too thats why im telling you your shortcomings
Report · 1:57am
that is not the issue isn't it. what is?
Report · 1:58am
that is the issue
that is the only issue
there is no other issue
Report · 1:58am
than why won't you pick up call
Report · 1:58am
i have no problem with me
i just dont want to talk over the phone
why cant i dont talk over the phone?
Report · 1:59am
it more presonable
Report · 1:59am
what?
oh
Report · 1:59am
why are you online so often?
Report · 1:59am
because im always online
i stay in the school and i dont go anywhere but stay in my room online
Report · 2:00am
how can i help?
Report · 2:00am
im not asking for any help
im telling you you lack empathy thats all
Report · 2:01am
okay, no man can every save/help himself
hope you know you're loved. thanks for telling me about my lackness
Report · 2:02am
okay
think about it