Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Ever since leaving Singapore for Malaysia things have taken a massive turn. I couldn't say I didn't half anticipate it but what use to be the relying now have become relied upon.

In Singapore I've always been second best, following, responding. Now here it's quite the opposite. People come up to me to ask for help with homework, class work, lectures etc. Even those 6 sems my senior.

The other part I've noticed is about stuff outside class. I've realise there's a growing amount of people relying on me, hanging around me, clinging on to me, even when I set my mind in living in solitude. It must be something about something which is here now, not having been here before.

This weird aura of attraction is very similar to the one Fiona had on me back then, where I was the metal and she the magnet. I can't help but notice the similarities. In her case the more she tried distancing herself from me, the more I wanted to come nearer to her. In my case, well lesson learned.

In trying to keep they away from me I know now I have to come closer but just enough to stay out of trouble. This must be the exact lesson Fiona faced back then when I was around her, but perhaps she didn't see it coming.

Now I feel on par with her image she'd left in me. We're even.

Unfortunately I'm still bad because the pain she'd left in me I'm now passing it upon others. In her words last time, she condemn guys. Me now, I condemn trust.

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