Sunday, June 13, 2010

Life is All just a Formula Waiting to be Decoded.

Sometimes I feel that I'm getting too old for this thing called learning about living life.

It's all normal, too normal, not predictable though easily anticipated, till at times I feel like I just want to stop playing this game.

No, this is not a suicide note or what, it's just a random thought typed out to be shared. Though it's quite funny to think people end their life because of problems, and ironically the lack of it seems to force me to mention that.

I got that feeling again last night, a feeling that seems to be appearing more and more often in recent times.

Despite all the break from routine changes at work- moving office- which means packing office, moving stuff and vacating it, spending the whole weekend for this cause, not being able to work as per normal on Saturday because of that, hence needing to rush Saturday's workload on Friday as OT(crazy), plus watching World Cup opening match(obligated, really), sleeping over in a messy semi vacated office overnight, messaging fiona again and sending her things I regretted, waking up bla bla bla, work la la.

All is my first time in many ways but it no longer excites me already. There was a time when different new things can keep me occupied by being excited for a period of time, nowadays I've been better at decoding out the formula on how that works.

Uptill a stage where I no longer need a "new thing" to occupy my mind with. The new thing has become a constant and like all formulas it is the easiest understood kind of the relationship in that formula, and I have somewhat skipped the whole constant thing. I no longer need to find a new thing to occupy- my - mind. The variables in the formula is what I only concentrate on seeing.

And without any constant/new things, I need not wait for new adventures to come knocking into my life. I can figure it out, the variables and its relationship in the formula free from constants, without outside reliance.

It is just a matter of time before its code gets broken too. When it does, it no longer merits any attention of thought of mine. Then, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to live. I get bored.

P/s: If you still don't get what I mean by "constant" in life, here's an example.

1. Monday: Jordan goes to work by train and bus and reach late 2 minutes.

2. Tuedsay: Jordan goes to work by train and bus, saw a girl and got distracted, and reach late by 10 minutes.

3. Wednesday: Jordan goes to work by train and bus, saw a cat, played with it and got clawed, reach work and was late by 1 minute.

The constants here refers to method of transportation and my famous lateness among others. Which if canceled out and ignored can be mentioned as-

1. Jordan (add verb: go) (add conjunction: to) (add place: work) and (add unknown event: girl/cat).

Told in a variable focusing way:

Jordan in going to work sometimes get distracted along the way.

That perfectly sum up what both the girl and the cat have in common- are distractions. Observe. Come up with a hypothesis formula. Identify the common things and factor them out, shorten the formula, and finally break the code.

This is becoming a science/psychology lecture.

In a routine life we can forget about the constants and examine the connections between the variables to predict the outcome when something(the constant) enters our life in the future.

End.

Pss: By now you should have seen enough of another side of me- the side where my brother say I talk a lot of rubbish. Possibly true.

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