Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Self-Discovery

I see you see me doing something really repetitive and boring, and you start to What's wrong with him?

Well, because during the past few months working in the interesting company but boring work, I've been doing the same old thing every day. Repetitive, and boring. And gradually over time I hear voices in my head.

Not God talking or what, but just voices as in voices.

It's the other part of my mind thinking while my primary mind is focusing on something which needs focusing with no thinking. My brain over the months have polished up the art of brain-segmentation. 70% on the primary task, the other 30% passively talks to itself.

Very much like a computer with one harddisk but two drives, a ship with a two pilots or a conference Malaysian style with everybody's I'm the Leader mentality style. Suppose to function as one but works by many, as one.

I find myself conferencing about work, life, friends,movies, soccer, holidays, future, past, time, life again. Basically everything that runs through a mind like mine.

Everyday on my way back home I'll sit on the train with my music player on, with music streaming to my ears, but I only do that to shut out the outside sound. The same music everyday becomes the by default music and when it's played, the mind goes blank.

I'll be on the train with my vision off focused, body still and mind, blank. It's the only place I find peace nowadays. Sleeping heals the body and brain but not the mind, the mind's only solace is in a place it really belongs, and everyones gotta find that place his/herself.

I've found mine in that.

And to bring it one step further, my food for thought in the same odd logic(or the lack of it) of that is from doing the same old boring/repetitive thing. Another mystery of life explained.

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