Monday, May 3, 2010

By Understanding the Past

In my eyes I can be anyone I want to be- Strong, mascular, loud, rough, fast, slow, lazy, focused, tough, faminine, a dumb nut, a smart nut, a cashewnut


Strong: Exercise and work out.
Mascular: Eat protein, exercise and work out.
Loud: Just talk and don't think about what if's. In fact, don't think at all.

etc. You get the point.

The truth behind all of this is because in my eyes I've never been good enough for my own standard.


I can't do things.

Now I can do things.

But I can't do things consistantly.

But my good spree is getting longer by the day.

But I'm still error prone as always.

But..

You get the point too.

I've always lived by the principle " the biggest loss of life is in those things we never thought of about " and my response to that is to always dig deeper into the unknown. If I've never been there/done that before, I will do it.

There's many things I've done and many of it were simply based on the "doing for the sake of just doing it" reason. Like climbing the roof, clinging onto a highway cliff wall, jumping into a quarry, like falling deeply in love with a person who my logic tells me I shouldn't but my heart tells me to ignore it.

Sometimes I fall bad, real bad, other times I escape, but all the time, it's a new milestone set, a new area in life explored, a new chapter penned.

This ever-changing evolution nature of me has always been me. Some could say they seen it coming since young, like a seed waiting for time to ripe. Either way, I knew back then I was gonna life a worthwhile life.

It is called contentment? I'm content with whatever I get hence nothing is ever considered wrong? Also, is it the situation makes the charecter of the mind, or is it the charecter of the mind which makes the situation?

I just didn't know in any deeper details about what the future holds other than based on pure gut feelings back then. I had many haters and non-believers, many challanges and obsticles, many compatitors and many ventures waiting for my fall. I've survived it all.

I've grown in also sticking to a believe that " keep your friend close, keep your enemies closer". Yes, my greatest enemy is,was and always will be


" myself "


I've learned to face my fears and tackle them one by one.

Either way, it's all in the past now.

And the next question: By understanding the past, we can forsee the future.

What does my future holds? That itself gives me a reason to wake up everyday. Only time will tell.

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