Monday, April 26, 2010

What Ifs

Every night this time of the week I'll pounder about the what if's of life. Look at the possibilities of outcomes from the decisions I choosed to pass.

...

In leaving my family when I was younger and lived on my own, I've matured alot. My friends are mostly those along the same fate at me, venturing out from our country at such tender age and left to fend for themselves.

It's awesome indeed, but sometimes I feel my parents owe me a normal teenagehood other teens had which I never truly knew.

It's like growing up normally till 17 and then in the next few years till now(21), we had grown as a super fast rate and now at 21 we are quite like a 25 year old-er. Of course it benefits to have the future come earlier, but it also means we had our present gone faster.

I had been wondering what would have happened if I was still in my hometown like most Singaporeans around me who are on the normal track. I would have many friends and known many people and years of experience with the things here, and I didn't need to keep on planning for the short term future like me, now.

I would have gone to collage near my house and driving would be my primary transportation rather than walking. That's just one of many many things I've exchanged in leaving my family and home for a blind shot at the future.

I've grown up (eversince moving to Singapore) living a life that main goal is to accomplish the fastest learning rate to adapt to an everchanging environment, so in the same time as my peers, I can see more of the world.

I've become impatient and restless and patience with time is something I've lost somewhere along the years.

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