Sunday, April 18, 2010

Dear Sis,

At time of writing you are already far far on your way away. You know I can never admit it, what a wonderful sister you mean to me, which explains why you are reading it here.

I used to live in your shadows, that ended the day I moved out from the only house we knew then.

I know and you realised how I've always been a pain to the ass for you and also one of your most consistent cause of heartaches, but I just want to let you know again that that was all just a show. In my eyes you had certain alarming shortcomings and in trying to repair and prepare you I had to be your worse enemy.

And yet that shortcoming is the main reason you keep coming back to me.

All I had intended was to show you things I see, that life isn't always a sweet and controlled. We grew up together in the same world but two different dimension, you're always the number one with papa and mama shielding you from reality, while I'm always only see the opposite of that. Time has changed and they can't be with us and I took over the responsibility to guide you, the responsibility to connect you back to reality. You were always in lalaland and by being your worse enemy closest to you I hope I'd been the closest link you were having.

I had walked out into the unknown, and now is your turn. Things will never be the same again.

I've told you many times but I think it never gets registered in you, that it's much easier to just ignore and walk along, but I choose to engage. All those times we fight over the smallest of matter were demonstrations that nobody is always no.1 all the time. You grew up believing in that and in coming to Singapore's workforce, RE have been your rough awakening.

The problems I've caused are just a lesser, easier digestible dose of reality compared to your work to bridge the massive gap of your belief and the reality.

I've always been proud to be able to spend the time living with you as your roommate because I know we owed each other teachings to the other. I had learn more about myself from you and I hope you had learned more than me from me.

You'll be going to US and you'll be all alone this time, and I hope all that I've thought you will prepare you better for your next chapter in life. My physical presence ends here but I hope the influence I had left on you will walk with you there. Who knows where will we meet again in one year's time but worry not because our time is short, life is filled with turns and surprises so don't waste your time worrying. And don't worry bout me I'll be fine, I always have.

Money will bring you far, but only until so far. You will have to discover the rest of life's journey by your own after that.

And p/s:
1. If you're feeling sad, don't look at the pictures; it will only make you sadder.
2. Don't waste your time missing the past, spend your time trying not to waste your present by missing on your past.
3. And stop giving reasons why things cannot be done, and start giving excuses why things can be done.

Have a great time ahead.

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