Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Be my Knife and I'm your Butter

I was emoing at work today because of the same old reason.

I woke up in the morning with a new determination - of forgetting Fiona. I resisted many many temptations to buzz her and was trying to convince myself there is a slight chance she is not condemning me and ignoring me for good.

During lunch time I had a short 15 minutes of my own time, and I eventually spent that time living with my emotional side deep in me. I thought about her, about all the great things we could have been, all the things we had done, what I could and should have changed, and even at a moment, felt like I'm tearing inside.

During the afternoon I continued focusing on staying away from her because the best bet seems to be by ignoring her I'm giving her time to cool down from my constant harrassment. I'm sorry I never meant to be like that but somewhere along the line of time I'd become like this.

I did fine, very fine infact. I even joked with Ivy I'm from loVesick to "Sick-from-work".

And before I ended my work an sms came. The name: Fiona.

She blew away a day's determination and resistance. I love how she makes my day green from gray.

Her msn personal message reads " Don't be someone's everything when to that someone, you are just something "

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