Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Exercising to moderate Pain

I used to have serious neckache on a daily basis some 1 year ago.

Sometime then, I've realised the solution to it is simple- exercise.

Lately I've been exercising and working out almost once every two days, that's until I came to Singapore last week.

My back and body feels weak without my regular dose of exercising. I'm planning to go and run later.

A Finger Problem

One of my left finger is causing pain again. I usually dismiss stuff like this until Melvin the rock climber friend suggested it may be a cracked/broken knuckle between my finger's finger.

It's really irritating. Must have suffered it when I was doing something parkour shit.

I still have my right hand to lose so it's by no means a sad thing.

Fall in Place

I don't know why I do half the things I'm doing right now; studying, maintaining a good family relationship, enquiring about studying abroad; but I hope one day they will all fall in place like a jigsaw puzzle with isolated pieces at correct places.

I've been thinking alot lately and updating Facebook status regularly. So much that I'm gonna use the blog as a platform to ink my short and random thoughts.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Intellectual Talk about Fear [ Ivan and Jordan on MSN ]

Was chatting with Ivan on MSN about fear using God and supernatural events as examples.


Warning : Very, very in depth and lengthy conversation.


Jordan says:

haha

it’s alright la

see this

099. Do you believe in God? : God is a subject used to believe in oneself, for the lesser ones.

do you think I’m gonna get blasted for that?


*Ivan says:

lol

that is

if somebody understands that

put it in easier terms

god is for the lesser beings who can't believe in themself


Jordan says:

that

is

gonna for sure

kena blasted

my brother my sister my friend your friend my friend's (you) mother

everybody also come

that is inviting for trouble

I think right

there’s this bunch of people in the general population

who thinks like me


*Ivan says:

ahem*

us


Jordan says:

but, because Christians are so devoted in their cause and are blinded by it

we dare not tell that in their face for fear of provoking and triggering their wrath

unnecessarily

us.


*Ivan says:

one of the reasons Christianity is so strong

is because of those missionaries

this Jesus guy

was smart

he put in his book

go forth and spread the word

or something like that


Jordan says:

lol

screw them.

people like that will come and go

very easily could have been some other thing

puritytityttytyty

is the name of the next closest religion

for all you know

the common thing they both have, is the target

of people lacking in self belief.


*Ivan says:

not all Christians lack in self belief

is just that they were brought up that way

like we were brought up been told the earth is round

maybe got alien among us

laughing at us

they earth is a triangle


Jordan says:

lol.

u know

I believe in alot of things

besides religion which I obviously don’t do.

I believe in supernatural forces


*Ivan says:

I tell u that is rubbish


Jordan says:

I believe in unexplainable science stuff yet

I believe in aliens

that is not rubbish.


*Ivan says:

aliens is a possibility

supernatural is rubbish


Jordan says:

its rubbish to you coz you haven’t see the real deal yet.

I have.

lol.


*Ivan says:

I say u are rubbish

lol


Jordan says:

you are making me laugh.

seriously.

you don’t know what you're missing out.

the supernatural stuff.


*Ivan says:

even if the real deal stares me in the face I’ll say its rubbish


Jordan says:

now you say that.

in the real face of the real deal, your mind don’t think your body runs

I’ve been there done that.


*Ivan says:

u have no balls


Jordan says:

I’ve always thought why la these people run away when they have the camera to record this one of a kind things

until I felt it

you don’t know what you're talking about.


*Ivan says:

I tell u this like religion

is all in the mind

Christians also told me " you don't know what you're missing"


Jordan says:

ha,.

ha.


*Ivan says:

ok we put this aside


Jordan says:

that’s different coz you know what you're not missing.


*Ivan says:

u won't persuade me


Jordan says:

this is not about missing


*Ivan says:

I won't persuade u


Jordan says:

this is real stuff which you haven’t seen hence yet to believe.


*Ivan says:

ok fine

I’ll believe once I see it


Jordan says:

I know.

I’m just trying to fast forward your brain


*Ivan says:

lol


Jordan says:

you don’t have to see it to believe it


*Ivan says:

no thanks


Jordan says:

lol.


*Ivan says:

this kind of things

take 1 step at a time


Jordan says:

seriously.

I still remember fondly the incident at sentosa island.

the moonlight lighted up the lagoon


*Ivan says:

I tell u that’s rubbish also


Jordan says:

which was enclosed, but yet got black figure rise from the water up to my head level

no funny at all.

you tell me that’s rubbish.

I tell you, rubbish or not, it’s real.


*Ivan says:

but then again I don't go walking into the sea alone in the middle of the night

so who knows


Jordan says:

unless of course, there’s some mystic power playing mind tricks on me.

that too is supernatural stuff.

this kind of things.

you don’t do that coz you know what to watch out for.

hence you avoid it

hence you don’t experience it


*Ivan says:

hence I don't believe


Jordan says:

and you’re telling me you don’t believe it

lol.

that’s called self denial.


*Ivan says:

u call it self denial

I still say I don’t' believe

lol

an unmoving rock

so just because of that 1 experience u believe?


Jordan says:

not only one


*Ivan says:

I remember last time

camp out at school

we walk down dark corridors

lights off

in order to get to the toilet

so there are 2 groups

one who are paranoids

the "believers"

they go

they come back

they say they didn't go cause half way the met something

the other group

which consist of me and another guy


Jordan says:

HAHAHAHAHAA


*Ivan says:

walk so many times

nothing

illek


Jordan says:

you know why.

that’s coz, you have the human factor

human lies, human manipulate , human disorientate, human alters

mine, no human.

just me and the deal.


*Ivan says:

for all u know

just a fish jump up


Jordan says:

of course I won’t believe if others told me too, but that’s then.

u know.

being a science student.


*Ivan says:

half science


Jordan says:

understanding gravity


*Ivan says:

ok maybe full science


Jordan says:

velocity

air pressure

water pressure

all that shit

this thing has no acceleration

it rise

note the word rise, not jump

rise = move upwards with no acceleration.


*Ivan says:

I tell u

damn wasted

u should turn around and see


Jordan says:

I tell you, heart beat from normal to 200 in 1 second


*Ivan says:

instead of just giving in to instincts


Jordan says:

that’s what I mean


*Ivan says:

this 1 is discipline d


Jordan says:

we talk now all we want

u tell me, I regret not doing it


*Ivan says:

lol


Jordan says:

but in reality, I didn’t think at all

body just struggle to move as far away as possible

my hands and legs and all my swimming skills


*Ivan says:

that’s the problem


Jordan says:

not fast enough

it’s not a problem, its natural reaction.


*Ivan says:

natural reaction can be overcome


Jordan says:

true.


*Ivan says:

ok nvm

like I said

this is 1 argument

we would never settle

unless I "see"


Jordan says:

we can wait for that

or.

you can just believe me.


*Ivan says:

nope


Jordan says

and skip the waiting part.


*Ivan says:

I won't


Jordan says:

LOL


*Ivan says:

we go back sentosa d

lol

I go stand in the middle


Jordan says:

if it’s that straight forward

they would have broken the code by now


*Ivan says:

lol


Jordan says:

freaking go and drain the lake and find for loch ness monster

freaking to and surround the Himalaya hills and comb the area to find yeti

freaking clear the entire Amazon forest to find bigfoot

if it’s that easy.


*Ivan says:

and I say they also don't exist until proven otherwise


Jordan says:

that’s what everyone says.


*Ivan says:

I am "everyone"


Jordan says:

just because it’s not known to us, YET, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist to us yet


*Ivan says:

yes it does

I close the door

everything outside does not exist

cause I can't see them

see the logic?

lol


Jordan says:

last time Einstein said the earth is round and revolves around the sun.

people say bullshit.


*Ivan says:

RUBBISH

u don't know your facts


Jordan says:

after 16 years only they agreed.

LOL


*Ivan says:

Einstein did not say that


Jordan says:

not him?


*Ivan says:

it was Galileo


Jordan says:

ya


*Ivan says:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG BEFORE EINSTEIN


Jordan says:

YA


*Ivan says:

u remember angles and demons?


Jordan says:

that’s what him.


*Ivan says:

ya

the church threw him into jail


Jordan says:

he also said in moon things fall at the same rate


*Ivan says:

because he went against the church


Jordan says:

people said , bullshit


*Ivan says:

he said that?

lol


Jordan says:

he did.

coz of the absence of air


*Ivan says:

no he didn't


Jordan says:

hence no air resistance

hence, same time it takes to fall regardless of mass


*Ivan says:

that 1 was said by Newton I think


Jordan says:

they proved it right only when the Americans stepped foot on moon

same la.

point is


*Ivan says:

it’s not the Same


Jordan says:

everyone believes it only when it’s proven.


*Ivan says:

give credit where it is due


Jordan says:

that’s not my point.

believing is having faith in something which is not yet proven.


*Ivan says:

I know what u mean


Jordan says:

that’s believing.


*Ivan says:

so

we can come to a simple conclusion

I don't believe


Jordan says:

ya

that’s what I said.


*Ivan says:

that’s what I said too

about 10 times


Jordan says:

more accurately

you don’t believe, yet.


*Ivan says:

that is what the Christians tells me too

I may never will

chances are I never will


Jordan says:

you're denying their existence.


*Ivan says:

yes I am


Jordan says:

by not believing and not giving yourself a chance to believe

BELIEVE

HAHA


*Ivan says:

u

sound like a bloody priest

lol

pastor


Jordan says:

believe in Jesus and in a freaking black figure is not the same la


*Ivan says:

not priest

it’s still believe

believing in something not yet proven


Jordan says:

that 1 is believe with the heart

this 1 is believe coz I freaking saw it

I take a gun and aim at you


*Ivan says:

but u are asking me to believe


Jordan says:

you don’t believe it’s a gun.

LOL

fine.


*Ivan says:

u are not pointing the gun at me


Jordan says:

from your point, it’s the same as Jesus


*Ivan says:

somebody point the gun at u

I say that is not the gun

cause I didn't see it

more like it


Jordan says:

you missed my point.


*Ivan says:

living in denial sometimes is not that bad

a few things I denied in life


Jordan says:

I rather live the opposite of it.


*Ivan says:

god

super natural

I accept almost everything else


Jordan says:

u know

I don’t deny the existence of god

only that


*Ivan says:

ok fine

lol


Jordan says:

I don’t need to believe in it either.


*Ivan says:

I don't deny

it doesn’t matter

if it exist


Jordan says:

hence the non Christianity


*Ivan says:

so be it


Jordan says:

that’s more like it

logical thinking.


*Ivan says:

if supernatural exist

so be it


Jordan says:

u just don’t kacau it enough


*Ivan says:

depends really

sometimes I want to look for trouble

lol

ok wait

I need to think this through


Jordan says:

if u want to look for trouble

then you've gotta admit there is trouble to look for.

not just , it exist when you want it to


*Ivan says:

ok I thought about it

I deny the existence of supernatural beings

because it makes me feel uneasy


Jordan says:

hah.


*Ivan says:

thus

it’s easier to live in denial


Jordan says:

finally you admitted it

it’s not wrong, it’s just that you were living in denial all along.


*Ivan says:

and I will continue living in it


Jordan says:

I wish I can just live in denial that cockroaches exist


*Ivan says:

lol

actually can 1

that 1 is a fear

that can be overcome

ok maybe cannot deny


Jordan says:

the only difference is, roaches are physically present around me whereas supernatural stuff doesn’t.


*Ivan says:

cause u see it everyday


Jordan says:

fear.

yours is fear too.


*Ivan says:

fear sucks


Jordan says:

fear is normal.


*Ivan says:

I don't like

so I reduce it


Jordan says:

hah

and you’re calling me no balls.


*Ivan says:

small balls = fear

so since I reduce fear

I reduce fear

fear reduce balls bigger


Jordan says:

that’s only till fear reappears again.

I tried living that way , but always am reminded of the shit I really am when I see cockroaches

so after awhile

just accept it

and face it.


*Ivan says:

u just accept fear

that is balless

courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the conquer of it

regret is also anothing I don't like

fear and regret

this 2 suck


Jordan says:

accepting fear

is one of the first steps to overcoming it.

it is by no means, balless.

ballest is denying.

there’s a difference.


*Ivan says:

if I deny, and the fear is gone, how is that balless?

when I was younger

I use to walk into a dark room


Jordan says:

that’s ballest coz you're hiding from your fear.


*Ivan says:

being really fearful

can't even go upstairs alone

one day I decided


Jordan says:

haha.


*Ivan says:

all those shit I feel

all those fear

is all rubbish

just do it

of course it didn't happen over night


Jordan says:

that is facing your fears


*Ivan says:

but the fear disappears eventually


Jordan says:

not hiding from it

hiding is calling your sister and walk in front

it disappears coz you've faced it

and overcome it

that takes courage


*Ivan says:

its call courage


Jordan says:

that’s the real way.


*Ivan says:

so

that is how I decided

supernatural stuff

all rubbish

of course I had other influence


Jordan says:

you are going back to square 1


*Ivan says:

but that’s the major 1


Jordan says:

you've admitted you're living in denial because of the fear of it

now you're denying it again.

supernatural stuff is not rubbish, it’s just not a fact yet.


*Ivan says:

and until it becomes a fact

I won't accept

unless

actually there is no unless

lol


Jordan says:

that is denial again.


*Ivan says:

ok maybe there is an unless

but I just haven figure what the "unless" is


Jordan says:

you’re getting there.


*Ivan says:

I’ll let u know when I do


Jordan says:

until you seen it yourself

that is your unless.


*Ivan says:

that is 1 of it maybe

there might be more

anyway it’s so much easier living without believing

that way I can turn on my room lights without worries


Jordan says:

that is very true.


*Ivan says:

I’m not keen on going back to how I felt when I was a kid


Jordan says:

so much so for the circumstances that events like that are so rare, it’s not repeatable

you fear your past?


*Ivan says:

ok let put it this way

I fear fear

if they are a proven fact

I accept

cause there is no fear

they don't threaten anymore

humans fear the unknown

that’s common

I don't fear the unknown but I fear the fear of the unknown

u know?

lol


Jordan says:

haha.

you fear fear.

you are scared of being scared of.

then, you should just go and overcome your scaredness of being scared of

in other words, face your fear.

so to overcome your fear or fear

you need to.

fear.


*Ivan says:

be fearful

rubbish I tell u


Jordan says:

seriously.

go and be scared

like as you said, when you’re small you finally went AND BE SCARED OF THE DARK

and finally it went away


*Ivan says:

THAT IS BECAUSE


Jordan says:

you WENT TO FACE YOUR FEAR.


*Ivan says:

THER IS A RESASON


Jordan says:

you have no choice.


*Ivan says:

I want to enter my ROOM


Jordan says:

exactly.

okay.


*Ivan says:

this 1


Jordan says:

so now


*Ivan says:

accomplish nothing


Jordan says:

you don’t want to face your fear

because of the absence of a motive.


*Ivan says:

go on


Jordan says:

I’ve learnt to face my fears since 3 years ago

when I go Singapore, I feared alot of things

i.e., cannot speak mandarin la, you said 99% of the people there speak mandarin

in the end, I just did what you did

just don’t think and whack only.

in doing so, I’ve overcome my fear of not being able to mix due to lingual restrain

that's one fear less.


*Ivan says:

so whets your point?

those ware worth it


Jordan says:

point is.


*Ivan says:

there is a point to battling those fear


Jordan says:

to overcome the fear

you need to face it

one way or another.

I had to face it, no choice d


*Ivan says:

whets the point of overcoming the fear of being fearful?


Jordan says:

that.

is completely up to you.


*Ivan says:

fear causes panic


Jordan says:

you haven’t found your motive yet.


*Ivan says:

u can't keep your calm


Jordan says:

I’ve found mine.


*Ivan says:

can't think logically

tend to make blunders

BUT

I also agree that it has a point

fear

helps u react

and may just save your life


Jordan says:

one of my reasons I try very hard to face my fears is, when the ugly situation comes one day, I’ll be able to handle it since I’ve tried doing it prior to it.


*Ivan says:

but then again

thinking calmly might have a better chance of saving once life


Jordan says:

if you know you're gonna not be able to think logically and make blunders when fear sets in

then you should be doing something now to prevent that from happening when it does.


*Ivan says:

my fear


Jordan says:

meaning, to practice facing it now.


*Ivan says:

suppress ALL FEARS

thus I don't fear


Jordan says:

I know.

you fear fear itself.


*Ivan says:

a very good paradox

I find that it works wonderfully


Jordan says:

the good thing about that is, since you're fearing fear itself, every step you take to overcome it directly lessen the Fear you are fearing.

this is shit la

so high end stuff.

to keep things simple.

you have yet to find a motive to overcome your fears.

solution is, go and find 1.


*Ivan says:

this fear is not worth overcoming


Jordan says:

this is false.

when you overcome your fear, you life is more worth living.

coz you are reducing the negativity in it.


*Ivan says:

ok give me a minute

ok done

fear over come

next question?


Jordan says:

what?


*Ivan says:

I’ve over come my fear


Jordan says:

that’s fast.


*Ivan says:

I accept the existence of supernatural

I’m a fast thinker


Jordan says:

okay.

if you really did.

next thing you should be thinking is.

if you encounter it, what should you do?


*Ivan says:

depend

supernatural


Jordan says:

take camera snap picture?


*Ivan says:

is so wide


Jordan says:

run?


*Ivan says:

so many kind

which kind are u talking about

if u are talking about a ghost

a spirit


Jordan says:

let’s say, unexplainable events.

tree start walking


*Ivan says:

I’ll try to sit down and have a chat

I’ll go touch it


Jordan says:

okay.


*Ivan says:

o probe it


Jordan says:

HAHA


*Ivan says:

with a stick

a long 1


Jordan says:

keep telling yourself that


*Ivan says:

the longer the better


Jordan says:

and soon it will become a real possibility


*Ivan says:

I’ll just keep the possibility at the back of my mind


Jordan says:

as for me

I’ve got it sorted out already

if I see something unexplainable

just keep my nerves and calm down

and analyze the situation


*Ivan says:

yes

that’s the logical thing to do


Jordan says:

that’s the difference.

fear tends to make people think with their emotions.

no with their logic.


*Ivan says:

this has been a long and elaborate conversation


Jordan says:

I know

I can save it on my blog

for online reference