Sunday, October 5, 2008

A Wake Up Call

The post is entirely abstract, so no pictures today. This post is especially for all of you out there who would make time to spend reading something worthwhile to think about.

Have you ever felt at some point of your life, your current life is good and comfortable,you are contented with the state and balance of everything and above all, happy to be able to realize how fortunate you are?

And then at the next moment,only be knocked back down to earth when, perhaps with a twist of fate,by something which opened your eyes and had got you realized whatever you are/whatever you have been doing all along is just too small,too insignificant compared to the others? How you've incredibly managed to live in your small world believing things you choose to believe whilst missing out on the facts and changes constantly revolving around you? How after this turning point, you're feeling bad and sad for missing out on all the changes that had long came and gone, and also how numb and lost this had made you felt inside?

I have. In fact, I've just did, recently.

No,this is not another Emo post.

I'm taking the effort of compile these words to voice out my realization about this matter because I believe everyone will eventually experience it.

I've just recently experienced this a few days back which leads to me reviewing my philosophies in life. One night just before I'd decided to call it a day, I randomly went and visit Friendster. I'm not a regular at Friendster nowadays, so visits are rare and short. But that day, I've somehow though it would be interesting if I go and check up on my contacts profile page, just to get an idea of their current state. I didn't went clicking every single friend's profile, but only on those I've got curiosity to do so. Even that translates to a fifth of my contacts, viewing roughly about 50 plus friends and foes alike.

Those I'd check were either my primary school mates/cliques or secondary school peers/influential people. Sure enough, many had gone abroad to faraway places and like me, misses Malaysia badly every now and then. I got to understand them better briefly by checking out some of their blogs and on their status. Even though most were very different already since I've last heard of them, the majority of it were somewhat pretty much expected.

However the solitary case I've somehow stumbled upon which had made the deepest everlasting impact on me has got to be this. No naming here, but it's regarding a friend of mine. She's from a secondary school near mine back then in Malaysia, I've known her from my inter-school involvement in Scouting and she's barely a year older than I am. The last time I recalled contacting her was perhaps a year and a half ago. That was then. As for now, she's married for 6 months, and have a cute lil' gal offspring. I didn't really ring any bells at first, but after connecting the facts about it, I'd finally came to realise the truth, and it struck me hard. Yes, it's known as the shortgun marriage, quite understandably being called so.

It's hard to accept because myself, and the people I choose to be around, are all still in their youth and post-teenage years and above all, and as far as I'm concern, we are all still not married. So for a close friend to suddenly be married like that, even if it's for other reasons, is just too great to handle. From how I see it, marriage only comes after both person are financially independent and have a stable career. For them.. its O.M.G. Just that.

Well it's not all about just this. This is no fluke or coincidence, but more like's just the way it is. It's the way it is, it always is, and the only matter which is not right is me. I'm concluding that because even though I've only stumbled upon one of such eye opener cases, I'm sure they are many more happening out there now as we speak. I wasn't prepared to face the reality of life, it's as simple as that. That's what this shocker had made me realised; that I was living in a world of my own and believing in things I want to believe, while heading astray more and more everyday from reality.

Even while referring to this matter outside the early marriage case I've mentioned as above, many things and people have changed since I've last heard of them. One friend of mine has built a very in depth profile of becoming a full time ah-gua-like model, whilst another friend of mine has quite a remarkable portfolio on commercial acting others would surely envy her about. All this, when once upon a time we were happily playing a fool around in school everyday. How time have changed.

It's only been three years plus since we've all went our separate ways after O' Levels, but we have diversify in our own interest and the gaps feels like it's too wide already. It's as if there's no going back to those innocent days of our primary/secondary school life. I'm saying all this while my age only shows I'm twenty, how would it be then when it hits double figure?

. .

Oh man. Maybe it's me just thinking too much. Or maybe I'm just slow at accepting changes in life. Whichever it is, by the time you'll be reading this, I would have gotten over it already.. till the next time it happens again.

If you have anything to say about this, just leave a comment at the comments section, I'll get back to you ASAP:)

1 comment:

Jordan said...

Common' people, leave a comment!

Got something to say about that? Leave a comment! HAHAHA